Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize