So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
