3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
