OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
