Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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