I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize