i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Randomize
