Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
