he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
