you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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