Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
