im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
