Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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