i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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