do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
