I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think I am morally bankrupt
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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