In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He shit in the fireplace
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
