the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
