After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I look better un-naked...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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