i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
