Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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