Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
