were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
