hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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