We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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