i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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