apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
