I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
