Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
