Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
