i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
