We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize