i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
