No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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