I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
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