Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sext me about skeletons
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
