Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she told me i tasted like america
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
