Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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