hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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