Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
