i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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