She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We had to coat check the pizza.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
