Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ladies don't puke and tell
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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