Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
