she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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