ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize