meet me or not, i'm out of control
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize