paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
A+ Viking dick
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
