Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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