you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
