hotel room ftw
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
