So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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