so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
