is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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