I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
