I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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