dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
