apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
