I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
