they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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