I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I understand Curling. That high.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
