hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
