Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize