it was like eating out sand paper
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
