I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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