That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
