Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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